Captain Agility

I just saw a cool Scion commercial with all these cool Scions driving around looking chill. The point of the commercial is that buying a Scion makes you original because you can modify the crap out of yours and be unique. THEN I read the fine print on the bottom of the screen. “Vehicles shown are special project cars, modified with non-genuine Scion parts and accessories. Modification with these non-genuine parts will void the Scion warranty, may negatively impact vehicle performance and safety, and may not be street legal.”

Uhhhh….okay. So our cars can’t look ANYTHING like the ones shown in the commercial. Thanks, Scion, for nothing.

My favorite part is when the pig jumps down.

Today, I said “excuse me” to a mannequin. She said nothing.

Calibrate Schmalibrate. Apologies are in order.

Irony is getting drenched with real rain while turning off your sprinkler.

“Well there won’t be any berries in the fruit-salad now so we all lose.”
(A movie that looks funny.)

So I went to Zaxby’’s tonight after the game. I got a Zensation Salad (I flippin” guarantee you can”t say that 5X real quick) thinking I was doing good for calories. I mean, compared to a Hardee’’s Thickburger, surely a salad’’s gotta” be less calories. NOPE. 900 calories. For a SALAD!

Look, a new invention to help you shave your goatee properly.  I don”t even know how to adequately comment here.

“You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.”
Michael Scott

“See, the problem with speculation is, you make a spec out of you, and some guy named lation…”
House